I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
