At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
