i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
