u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize