Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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