dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
