this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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