oh god the rape fog is back!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
