Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
