You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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