i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
