your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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