look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
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