Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
