Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
