"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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