Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dignity is for republicans.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
