there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
