bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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