Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
