ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...

  Fav 12 1073 4522

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

  Fav 47 6676 1940

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Ontario

  He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.

  Fav 25 6648 1379

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

  Fav 12 1764 5581

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

  Fav 8 3432 1131

  share tweet
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Missed another period

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.

  Fav 10 1520 4012

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

  Fav 2 2293 1271

  share tweet
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.

  Fav 5 914 1820

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.

  Fav 10 1076 1177

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

  Fav 11 810 1283

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.

  Fav 10 1095 693

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (231): View more from Michigan

  whats our policy on dating high schoolers?

  (1-231): View more from Michigan

  we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does

  Fav 8 2446 860

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?

  Fav 1 678 488

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.

  Fav 1 315 613

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed

  Fav 2 320 120

  share tweet
  

Randomize