it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
