Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
