They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize