I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
