I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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