Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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