Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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