please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
