Heybabeimwearingurpanties
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My penis needs a shock collar
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
