i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
