i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
