she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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