Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
