you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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