We won't sleep together?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
