Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
