you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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