He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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