ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
