so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
