took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
