In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
