why didn't you poke me back
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
