Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
