i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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