before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
