She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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