thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
