I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
