everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
