Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
