I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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