4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
