you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
