K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
