Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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