it hurts more in the daytime
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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