So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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