No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
