they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
