You can't special order awesome
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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