either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
