He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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