When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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