Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
