it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
