you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
