Are we in a gay sports bar?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Alive.
So much puke
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
