Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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